Bradley and I celebrated our 1 year Wedding Anniversary yesterday. We got married February 9th, 2019… the BEST DAY EVER. Bradley and I have learned so much in the first year of marriage. We are both so thankful to not have had the experience of “the first year of marriage is the worst”… but instead it’s actually been very easy-going and exciting for us. We’ve done A LOT this first year too. We are very lucky to have been able to travel and go do a lot. We don’t plan for that to stop until we have little kiddos (for at least 1-2 more years).
We want to share what we learned this first year of marriage. Maybe it’ll give you some advice as you are about to say “I Do” or just a good laugh… either way we figured it would be beneficial. Now, we are not therapists, we aren’t saying you have to do these things to have a happy marriage, these are just things that we’ve learned that helped us.
WHAT WE LEARNED
1. Learn Your Love Language
I would say this is the most valuable thing we learned this first year. Before I go into this I should probably share what this love language thing is. Have you ever felt like you are doing everything you can to make your significant other feel loved and they just aren’t feeling it? Most likely it’s a love language miscommunication.
There are 5 different love languages. Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. This is how you feel most loved, and in turn probably how you show love. That is the kicker. My love language is Receiving Gifts and Bradley’s is Quality Time. I love buying and giving him things, but he could care less. I do this because that’s how I feel most loved, but that isn’t the same for him, he would rather go and do something. So I had to learn that in order for him to feel loved and appreciated by me, I had to put in extra effort to go and do things with him, or just sit down and talk with him without distractions. He also had to do the same for me. He had to learn that we could go do a million things together but if he didn’t leave a sweet note or buy me flowers every once in a while I wasn’t feeling loved.
I should also say this is beneficial even if you aren’t in a relationship. It can help you love your siblings, Mom, Dad, anyone in your life better. Bradley and I took the free 5 Love Languages test online. If you are interested in that you can take the test here.
2. Compromise, Compromise, Compromise.
This makes me laugh because I asked Bradley what is something he learned from this first year of marriage, and the first thing he said was “compromise, compromise, compromise”… I had already titled this section “compromise, compromise, compromise” so I guess we are both on the same page.
Bradley and I have both learned that a marriage is very much give and take. Well giving a lot and taking very little. We’ve learned that it is important to give in and sacrifice every now and then, for the happiness of the other. For example, if Bradley and I are going out to eat and I want ABC restaurant and he wants XYZ restaurant, sometimes I have to give in and go where he wants and sometimes he has to give in and go where I want… without complaining (that is key). Now this is just something very small in the whole scheme of marriage, but I felt like it was the easiest way to describe this process.
3. Communicate
I thought of multiple titles for this section : Be Open, Share Your Thoughts, Don’t Bottle It Up. I felt the easiest way to sum all of these things up was, Communicate. I feel like this word is everywhere you turn when you are in a relationship. Everyone tells you to communicate, but it can be so hard! Now this one is a big one for me. I feel like I had to really work on this one, probably because I get more emotional than Bradley, but we both had to figure out our parts in it. Bradley and I have both learned that it’s better to talk it out then to keep it inside. I was really bad at this… I wouldn’t talk about what I was feeling with Bradley and in turn it would all come out in one big blowup.
We’ve learned that if you are feeling a certain way, sad, mad, stressed, not loved, it’s better to talk about it. I always leave these conversations feeling more loved and like a big weight has been lifted off my chest. I had to learn to talk about it, Bradley had to learn to listen. I’m not saying Bradley doesn’t have times where he has to talk it out too and I have to listen, but more times than not I’m the one talking and he is the one listening. Bradley now knows how to handle these times, usually with a shoulder to cry on and a big bear hug.
I feel like these 3 things are the most important things we’ve learned from this 1 year of marriage. I know as we go and experience new things, we will learn a ton more… which is the exciting part of marriage. You learn and grow together! I love giving y’all a glimpse into our life and I’m excited to be taking y’all along with us on this journey.
As always, all opinions and text are my own.
Stay Sweet! ♡
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